If someone opens up to you and tells you they are impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, it will be a very difficult conversation for them – they are likely to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

Check out this VIDEO for some great tips and advice: Follow my lead animation

We ask you to follow this advice when talking with them:

• Understand the gravity of the situation – the impacts of Domestic and Family Violence are significant and can have long term effects across a person’s life. These effects may lead to changes in their world. So please recognise these impacts in your conversations.
• Find a discreet location for the conversation and assure them of confidentiality. Take them for a walk or have a chat in an area where others can’t listen into the conversation.
• Be gentle – this is a very tough situation for the person who is impacted.
• Be attentive – give them your full attention.
• Believe them – often people don’t come forward to talk about Domestic and Family Violence for fear they will not be believed. Your faith in them is important.

VIDEO: What to do if you think your friend is in an unsafe or abusive relationship? by Domestic Violence Prevention Centre Gold Coast

• If you suspect someone is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, start the conversation in a gentle and general manner, that will give them the choice to share their situation with you if they want to. A good question to begin with is “I’ve noticed you seem a bit different lately – are you OK?”
• If someone opens up to you about being impacted by Domestic and Family Violence, their safety and wellbeing are paramount. Please ask “Are you safe?”
• It is important that the person who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence is empowered to seek the type and amount of support they need. So, ask them general questions that enable them to decide how they are supported “How can I help?” Or “what do you need from me?” And then respect the person to make their own decisions.
• Recommend the person seeks support through their manager or HR – ultimately, this decision is up to the person who is impacted, but by reaching out to a leader or HR, it will be easier to receive support from the workplace. Offer to accompany them as a support person during this conversation.
• Let them know the process from here and invite HR into the conversation.
• Don’t try to be a counsellor or tell them what to do – please refer to them to specialist providers such as 1800 RESPECT – www.1800 respect.org.au
• Please refrain from judging them about their situation.
• Ask if they need support with their workload and then create an action plan if they need to adjust their duties for a period whilst they navigate their Domestic and Family Violence situation.
• Organise regular check-ins to make sure you can support them on an ongoing basis and monitor any changes to their situation. Check you have their correct contact details to ensure you can reach them for these check-ins.

This website offers general support, resources and information for the persons affected by Domestic and Family Violence, however your employer has a specific Policy on Domestic and Family Violence. Your HR team can assist further with the types of specific support available. Please maintain the confidentiality of the person/s involved.

We understand that it can be confronting and difficult to support someone who is impacted by Domestic and Family Violence. There are specialist counsellors to provide support and guidance.

Call 1800 737 732 or visit 1800 RESPECT

Alternatively, if your organisation has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), please consider reaching out for help.

A part of our response to Domestic and Family Violence is ensuring our leaders model respectful behaviour and lead the way in the stand against Domestic and Family Violence. This includes:

• Be aware and know the facts – take time to understand Domestic and Family Violence, the impacts, warning signs and how to have a conversation with someone who is impacted. This will enable you to take an informed and compassionate approach to someone who is impacted.
• Shift the focus and avoid victim blaming – avoid speaking to someone who is impacted by DFV as if they are to blame for the situation. This includes avoiding questions like “why didn’t you leave?”. It is important to park any judgement about their situation or choices as this may make them feel worse.
• Words matter – consider the things you say, and avoid language that may threatening or condone aggressive behaviour.
• Speak up and discourage abusive behaviours – if you hear someone behaving inappropriately, either call it out and let them know you don’t like the way they are speaking or report the matter to your HR business partner.
• Avoid stereotypes – Domestic and Family Violence can happen to anyone – it does not discriminate. VIDEO: Pull Ya head in

Whilst we encourage employees to understand Domestic and Family Violence and lean in to support impacted colleagues, it is important to remember that your safety is paramount. Please maintain healthy boundaries as follows:

• Avoid situations that may put you at risk
• Lean in with empathy, rather than rescuing a person who is impacted. This may mean being there for a confidential and compassionate conversation, or guiding them to specialist support services such as 1800 737 732 www.1800respect.org.au
• Reach out for support if you are struggling via 1800Respect or Queensland Domestic Violence Services Network
• Escalate the matter to the police by calling 000 if there is risk of significant harm to the person impacted by DFV or others.